My (earnest, irate) thoughts

One of my favorite meals to prepare used to be chicken Bryan, a Carraba’s recipe that involves chicken breasts heavily salted and peppered, with minced onions, garlic and sun-dried tomatoes simmered in lemon juice and white wine (gasp!), with crumbled goat cheese on top.

Anyhow, when I married Yusuf, I was disappointed not to cook with alcohol anymore. Lots of recipes call for a half-cup of beer or wine; I asked if it was OK to keep ‘wine, just for cooking with’ in the house. He said no. I said, ‘but it all cooks off.’ He said no. He had never had alcohol, never in his 32 years. For him it was always a non-issue; he had no desire to take a break from reality, no matter how harsh it gets. And since he didn’t want to drink it, he didn’t want to do anything close to it, either (like cook with it). We each have a weak side, where evil whispers works ‘best’ — but for Yusuf, alcohol wasn’t it.

I gave up drinking slightly before I became Muslim (the ix-nay on alcohol and necessity of the headscarf were the two main deterrents to my nafs) after reading a lot about the well-documented harms of alcohol, and the benefits of a diet lacking in alcohol. As I’ve mentioned before, the antioxidants in red wine — often given as a ‘benefit’ of light to moderate imbibing — are less than the antioxidants in blueberries, artichokes, blackberries, strawberries, apples, plums, pecans or pinto beans. So yeah, there’s more than one way to neutralize those free radicals. And no one ever got a blueberry hangover.

That was two years ago. But recently I wanted to take Yusuf to the Melting Pot, a fondue place that I had enjoyed since high school. There’s cheese fondue started off with beer or white wine, and a broth to cook meat, seafood and vegetables in, and finally a chocolate fondue, often flambéd with a little liquor. Frankly, I had a few concerns — would this place be able to accommodate us?

And yes, yes they could. We even got a waiter who had waited on a gaggle of Muslim ladies the night before, so he knew just what we needed — the spinach-and-artichoke cheese fondue (started off with vegetable broth), the Seafood Trio with broth (we’re going to try The Vegetarian next time) and a chocolate fondue (with no table-side flambé). But even with all his knowledge, our waiter still tried at the very last minute to give us a show with the alcohol flambé, saying, ‘It’ll all cook off anyway’. ‘No!’ we screeched together. He was disappointed, I think, not to get to play with fire.

Anyhow, before you start thinking, “Wow, talk about missing the forest for the trees, obeying the letter of the law — they are getting so hung up on the particulars. There’s a huge gap between drinking it and cooking with it” you should know this: It is perhaps the greatest culinary myth of our time that alcohol burns off, or cooks out, within a few seconds or minutes of heat being added: Research proves that the alcohol does not all cook out.

Edited and translated by Tarif Khalidi, The Muslim Jesus: Sayings and Stories in Islamic Literature is an attempt to bring the Muslim gospel — a collection of texts relating to Jesus in non-Christian literature — to readers unfamiliar with Arabic Islamic culture. It is a glimpse into how Jesus is regarded by Islam, a religious tradition that highly reveres him but rejects his divinity.

After about page 50, it is a collection of Jesus’ quips and parables, translated into English from Arabic. I love, love, love it. It’s like reading the Gospels without the narrative, a bit like skipping around to read the red words, and leaving behind the black (which I heartily recommend doing to both Christians and Muslims, it’ll just make you feel good). For Muslim mystics, Jesus is The Sufi — a man with no need for things, a man who spoke the truth, a man emptied of all but love. Jesus remains the perfect example of a heart enveloped by the Divine. Here are a few, with the accompanying commentary:

Jesus passed by a group of people who hurled insults at him, and he responded with blessings. He passed by another group who insulted him, and he responded likewise. One of his disciples asked, “Why is it that the more they insult you, the more you bless them, as if inviting this upon yourself?” Jesus said, “A person can bring forth only what is within him.”

Jesus passed a group of Israelites who insulted him. Every time they spoke a word of evil, Jesus answered with good. Simon the pure said to him, “Will you answer them with good each time they speak evil?” Jesus said, “Each person spends of what he owns.”

(The context here is clearly one of good manners and courtesy. There may be echoes also of Matthew 5:22. The story ends with a bon mot; one can almost imagine Jesus smiling as he delivers it. Also noteworthy is that, around this time, more of the stories and sayings begin to include the names of other actors, e.g. Simon, perhaps to lend vividness to the narrative. The Arabic has al-safi “the pure”, but this is most likely a mistake for al-safa “the rock” meaning Peter.)

Jesus said to John the son of Zachariah, “If a man makes mention of you and speaks the truth, give thanks to God. If he is lying, multiply your thanks, for God will increase the register of your good deeds without exertion from you.”

“Do not be saddened by what people say about you. If what they say is false, it would be like a good deed you have not performed. If true, it would be like an evil deed whose punishment has been prematurely exacted.”

(This elegant counsel to ignore the opinions of mankind may be a distant echo of Matthew 5:11-12.)

I picked these sayings because it’s what I need to remember the most. Personal blogs create a certain narcissism in the writer; I sometimes imagine that myriads are gathered to read these words, so imagine my disappointment in “No comments”. Is no one reading? Does no one care? Which should not matter. But it does.

And then sometimes — and I wonder if this is common for converts — I feel as if I am The Representative of Islam for various relatives, friends and co-workers. So when I annoy people, particularly by eagerly discussing topics that they find boring, imagining that I can somehow singlehandedly undo all the negative press against my faith — I feel as if I’ve doubly sinned: “Now they will think Islam is flawed.”

But Jesus’ words make me reflect. My blush when I think I’ve overheard a co-worker talking about me isn’t for naught. Neither is my ache when I read ugly words against all Muslims. And those precious times when I’ve managed to be pleasant when others were rude… I can think of Jesus, with a grin, saying: “Each person spends of what he owns.”

This “Muslim shopper experiment” by ABC News, sent to me by a dear friend, did seem to expose two very different Americas. For some, being American means being born here, regardless of what you believe or how you dress. For others, being American means believing certain things and dressing in certain ways.

“It is justice that binds us together. Any threat to that justice and fairness undermines the entire system.” Watching the people who stood up for a Muslim stranger, I am moved to tears, too, proud of my countrymen. I am thinking that America and Islam have more in common than either realize — meaning, that justice is at the core of both the American heart and the Muslim heart.

But what about the customers who said nothing at all? I wonder about them, too. What did they think? How did they feel? How would you feel… would you say anything?

Al-Ikhlas means The Purity. Of 114 chapters in the Qur’an, the Muslim holy book, Al-Ikhlas is number 112. With only four verses, it is one of the shortest. But for Muslims and their uncompromising belief in Divine Unity, it is one of the most significant — some say it alone is one-third of the Qur’an. It was reported from Ubayy ibn Ka’b, one of the Prophet’s companions, that this verse was revealed after polytheists said, “O Muhammad! Tell us the lineage of your Lord.”

Bismillah.hirrahman.nirrahim
(In remembrance of God, the universally Merciful, the singularly Compassionate)
Kul.huwallahu.ehad
(Say: He is God, the One and Only)
Allahus.samed
(God, the Eternal, the Absolute; — meaning, the Self-Sufficient Master, Whom all creatures need, He neither eats nor drinks)
Lem.yellid.wellem.yulled
(He begets not, nor was He begotten)
Wallem.yakullehu.kufuwen.ehad
(And there is none like Him; — meaning, there is none co-equal or comparable to Him)

Al-Ikhlas was one of the first suras (chapters) that I memorized for daily prayers. At first, it seemed harsh, like a frontal assault against the Trinity doctrine of the Christian church. Though I no longer believed that God had literally sired a child, I didn’t want to necessarily get into that with Christians — better to focus on the areas where we agree, because there’s plenty of them. For instance, my grandmother was worried about offending me by saying, “in Jesus’ name we pray” at the end of grace. But I told her that as a Muslim, I continue to adore and respect Jesus, may God bless him always.

But as time goes on, I see the wisdom and beauty of this chapter, which is now one of my favorites. It’s an admonishment against trinitarian belief, yes, but it is so much more than that. The nature of Islamic monotheism, like orthodox Jewish monotheism, is a wondrous thing in a world that sometimes seems chaotic and cruel. To look beyond the chaos to see the underlying order — like looking beyond the atom to the quark — is a leap of faith that only a theist (or a scientist) could take.

Turn the volume up and listen to it in Arabic, accompanied by its meaning in English.

After reading Rusty’s entry about introverts and IM (yeah, I don’t even have an IM program anymore) I wanted to see my whole Keirsey temperament profile. See, I adore taking quizzes. Especially when the results promise to delve into the mysterious depths of me. I’m not a medium (you’ll understand that reference when you get to the bottom of this description) but I do think this is a fairly good description of my personality, even though I’m only like 1 percent “J”. My favorite part is that I share this temperament type with Mohandas Gandhi. Which is basically pretty awesome. Find out who you are at www.keirsey.com.

I am an INFJ. I is for introvert, which means people who tend to need solitude to re-energize. N is for intuitive, which means people who tend to gather information in a ‘going with my gut/heart’ more than a ‘just the facts, ma’am’ kinda way. F is for feeling, which means people whose decisions tend to be ruled by their emotions more than their thoughts. J is for judging, which means people who tend to prefer order to chaos. Emphasis mine (for parts that are extra-super me.)

The Portait of the Counselor (INFJ)
The Counselor Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in reaching their goals, and enterprising and attentive in their interpersonal roles. Counselors focus on human potentials, think in terms of ethical values, and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (little more than 2 percent) is regrettable, since Counselors have an unusually strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely enjoy helping their companions. Although Counsleors tend to be private, sensitive people, and are not generally visible leaders, they nevertheless work quite intensely with those close to them, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes with their families, friends, and colleagues. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people.
Counselors can be hard to get to know. They have an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust. With their loved ones, certainly, Counselors are not reluctant to express their feelings, their face lighting up with the positive emotions, but darkening like a thunderhead with the negative. Indeed, because of their strong ability to take into themselves the feelings of others, Counselors can be hurt rather easily by those around them, which, perhaps, is one reason why they tend to be private people, mutely withdrawing from human contact. At the same time, friends who have known a Counselor for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that they are inconsistent; Counselors value their integrity a great deal, but they have intricately woven, mysterious personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.
Counselors have strong empathic abilities and can become aware of another’s emotions or intentions — good or evil — even before that person is conscious of them. This “mind-reading” can take the form of feeling the hidden distress or illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other types to comprehend. Even Counselors can seldom tell how they came to penetrate others’ feelings so keenly. Furthermore, the Counselor is most likely of all the types to demonstrate an ability to understand psychic phenomena and to have visions of human events, past, present, or future. What is known as ESP may well be exceptional intuitive ability-in both its forms, projection and introjection. Such supernormal intuition is found frequently in the Counselor, and can extend to people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come, as well as uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance.
Mohandas Gandhi, Sidney Poitier, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jane Goodall, Emily Bronte, Sir Alec Guiness, Carl Jung, Mary Baker Eddy, Queen Noor are examples of the Counselor Idealist.

I loved answering the questions, even when they asked the same thing in different ways, and I loved reading the results and pondering what it all meant. I think one’s reaction to the test is indicative of one’s personality. My mom, a Protector Guardian (ISFJ) loved taking the test — but couldn’t have cared less about reading the results. My husband, a Supervisor Guardian (ESTJ) was bored immediately with the questions — but loved reading the results and reaffirming things about himself.

Please leave comments (or send me an e-mail) to tell me about your uniquely wonderful temperament.

An interfaith attempt to trace the footsteps of the Prophet Abraham, upon him be peace, from Turkey to Jordan and Israel. Abraham, the patriarch of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, is the man who prayed for decades to have a child — oh, how he must have laughed upon hearing Sarah was pregnant at age 90 — but offered to sacrifice his son to God. He is the man who built the first temple to God. He is tenderly regarded as a Jew, Christian or Muslim by believers in each of the Abrahamic faiths. From his sons Isaac and Ishmael stemmed two semitic peoples, the Jews and the Arabs, like two streams flowing from a headwater. He was a man of faith.

Mother Teresa’s crisis of faith was referred to in a wonderful post by Sunni Sister about the dark night of the soul. Religious scholars say the ‘dark night’ is the moments or even years when our faith leaves us despite ourselves. For all our intellectual posturing in the reasonableness, the rationality of believing in the Creator, faith is indeed a gift from God, a gift that can be taken away—even amidst our best efforts to keep it. Hearing of someone who has left the Muslim faith always brings me such sadness; and such gratitude that though tortured-tense-and-absurd, I am still here finding a measure of peace in Islam, and though imperfect-shy-and-rebellious, I am still here finding a measure of humility in Islam. I am still here, elhamdulillah.

Culture
www.yusufari.com Photos by Yusuf Ari: Pictures of all sorts of things (butterflies and other animals including baby ducks!, kids, flowers, landscapes and architecture) taken by my husband. At the top it reads, Don’t say: “It’s beautiful.” Say: “God made it beautiful.” Mashallah (It is God’s will) is what Muslims say for a beautiful creature, like a baby. Check it often, because we add more photos all the time.

Politics
www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/simon_jenkins/article727080.ece These cartoons don’t defend free speech, they threaten it: Times columnist Simon Jenkins tells the real truth about the rights and responsibilities inherent in the Western “freedom of speech” — because, after all, “we do not go about punching people in the face to test their commitment to non-violence.”

Arabic
www.mounthira.com Mount Hira: To help us memorize God’s Final Testament, the Qur’an, several of the most famous verses are here, in Arabic with translation in English and transliteration using a Latin alphabet. The sound of the recitation is so beautiful!

Islam
www.masud.co.uk/ISLAM/misc/Jesus_and_Muhammad.htm Jesus and Muhammad: Brothers in faith and the challenge of walking in their footsteps in a secular world: Though the puppeteers would have us believe that Christianity and Islam are diametrically opposed, in reality Islam is the only other religion that respects Jesus as a messenger of Divine truth. “If you would trust in God as is His right to be trusted He would give you your provision as He gives it to the birds, they leave their roosts hungry and return satiated,” said Muhammad. Similarly the author of the Gospel of Matthew has Jesus saying to the crowds around him, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Who can say these messages don’t come from the same Source?

Bridge building between Christians and Muslims is an article written by Dr. Jamal Badawi about dialogue between Muslims and People of the Book (Jews and Christians), the meaning of Islam, Islamic monotheism, the nature of the human, the relationship between God and humankind, the role of Muhammad, accountability and salvation, and the attitude of Muslims toward non-Muslims. Here is an excerpt:

The Qur’an teaches us that the human race is given an innate pure nature called fitrah. Knowledge of Allah and innate spirituality are inherent in human existence, but this spirituality can betray us if it is not led in the right direction. To depend on a merely human feeling of the guiding Spirit is dangerous. Many groups, even cults, claim to be guided by the spirit or by God or by revelation, yet these groups hold divergent, even contradictory, beliefs. We find people behaving in contradictory ways who claim nonetheless that each is doing the will of God. “I feel,” they say, “that the spirit guides and directs me.”

This reminds me of people I met recently — Christian missionaries in southeast Asia who had some troubles with the government, which was annoyed because other Christian missionaries claiming to be “children of God” had danced in the nude and encouraged promiscuous sex as a path to enlightenment. See, the government had trouble making distinctions between which groups of white Americans were going to teach literacy and the Bible, and which groups of white Americans were members of wacky cults. Talk about delusional. Far be it from me to judge — I’ll leave that role to God — but I’m insulted on behalf of Christianity and Islam that folks would say Jesus made them behave in such a bizarre, disrespectful manner. This is why it’s so important not just to have the light of the candle (belief/right thought), but the lantern in which to protect its flame (methodology/right action).

A credible source of revelation is imperative. Throughout history Allah has selected particular individuals to convey His message, to receive His revelation and to exemplify it for mankind. For some of these prophets, holy books or scriptures were given revealing Allah’s commands and guidance. For most of you the names of these prophets found in the Qur’an will sound familiar: Noah, Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David, Solomon, John the Baptist, Jesus, and, finally, the last prophet, Muhammad, peace be upon them all. These prophets carried the same basic message: “Not an apostle did We send before you without this inspiration sent by Us to him: that there is no god but I; therefore worship and serve Me.” (al Anbiya 21:25)

I am annoyed with my Muslim brothers and sisters who would throw out the baby with the bathwater, and discard the holy writs of Judaism and Christianity because they have been changed. To best study the Qur’an, Muslims must be familiar with the Bible. The Qur’an tends to be poetic, not chronological, and usually hits the high points without going into meticulous historical detail. In fact, it’s my understanding that the early Muslims were devouring Jewish texts, etc. in their quest to be the best Muslims possible. For God’s sake, it was the fact that I recognized biblical stories in the Qur’an that caused me to stop, ponder and consider the incredible possibility that God had revealed and safeguarded a Final Testament for us. I think it’s high time we return to the philosophy of the early Muslims. Seek knowledge, even if it’s all the way to China, the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) did say.

It is to my great dismay that bridge-building is something I struggle with personally. You’d think I would know how to talk to Christians because I was one, and yet, I can only talk to Christians who a) know some history; and b) are not brainwashed. Otherwise, I feel a little bit like I’m trying to explain calculus to someone who doesn’t know how to count. I do try to talk to them anyway, but I usually just end up making them mad. I comfort myself that anger must be the default state of mind of people who maintain either of the following: a) American militarism goes hand-in-hand with Jesus; and b) Arabs and Jews are not related. It’s hard work believing stuff that ain’t true.

Hearts in Atlantis: The story of a young boy without a father, and his friendship with an old man with psychic abilities. It’s a people movie: nothing blows up and no one shows off their private bits, but somehow it seemed very adult, anyway. And it’s full of great insights from Anthony Hopkins, like “Sometimes when you’re young, you have moments of such happiness, you think you’re living in someplace magical, like Atlantis must have been. Then we grow up and our hearts break in two.”

In the Valley of Elah: Precisely because it is from the perspective of a typical military family, this is a fantastic anti-war movie. The soldiers, the cops — they are so ordinary that it makes the film’s conclusion more horrifying. There is one scene where Tommy Lee Jones tells the story of David and Goliath to Charlize Theron’s son. Afterward, she says, “You know that story isn’t true.” He responds, “Of course it is.” And, almost as an afterthought, “It’s even in the Qur’an.” (Warning: there is a lot of nudity in this movie, probably because of its attempt to be accurate in detailing a soldier’s life: topless dancing, etc.)

Guns, Germs and Steel: A documentary about the world’s inequality and why it exists. Anthropologist Jared Diamond poses that it’s because of a people’s proximity or lack thereof to the three things in the title. It’s a must-watch because it kind of gently unravels this American assumption that the Western world has been successful financially because its people are smarter or more deserving than others. (There’s nudity, but it’s the National Geographic kind.)

Ally calls it something the cat threw up, and Christians call it the flesh, but in post-Qur’an Arabic the nafs is the evil-commanding aspect of the human soul that fights with the conscience and counsels us to hurt ourselves or others. Like the Hebrew nefesh, it whispers, its greed must be feared, and it must be restrained and made patient.

Doing battle with such a foe makes it seem crazy to put ourselves in a situation that opposes our internal belief structure. Why would I, a reformed drunk who believes that alcohol is poison for the human soul, go to a happy hour? What would be the point? My own nafs would taunt me in one of two ways — either encouraging me to have just one, or flattering my ego with how ‘righteous’ I am — and the nafs of most people there would whisper to them: ‘If she’s not going to drink, what is she even doing here? Probably just judging us. All religious people are so judgmental. And boring.’

Since every affair must start off as a single too-long glance, Jesus, peace upon him, counseled us not to commit adultery and told men how — don’t look at a woman with lust. The life of a Muslim is this: not just to avoid sin, but to avoid the first step on the wrong path. We’re human, i.e. anything can happen.

People I work with regard my lifestyle in one of two ways: with a bit of awe, like they can’t imagine having self-control; or with a bit of skepticism, like they can’t imagine why religion should have a say on all aspects of human existence. Christians are perhaps the most surprised. Maybe because modern-day American Christianity is a fragmented, broken thing; notsomuch a religion as a belief without a methodology. This is because the real religion of America is Western liberalism, and at the heart of that is freedom. The heart of Islam, on the other hand, is justice. Justice is seen not as mercy’s opposing force, but as the embodiment of mercy. More on that another time.

Fighting the urge to fight the urge is a short, great article about how most people have far less self-control than they realize, and that over time, the self-control ‘muscle’ can be strengthened — but exercising our self-control works best if our environment doesn’t steadily drain our willpower.